Announcing EMU-lsive: a new direction for EMULSIVE.org

Alright, this is an April Fool’s…obviously.

Since 2015, I have openly stated here on this website, social media, podcasts and in private conversation that the focus of EMULSIVE is film photography. I am sorry to have to tell you that this is a little shy of the truth.

After nearly three years, it’s time to come clean and begin a slow shift to the true purpose of my efforts: EMU-related facts, figures and content in the hope we can help save this magnificent and unique animal from the brink of extinction.

Over the coming weeks, you’ll see a shift in the focus of this website and social media channels towards this true goal, and I’m blessed to be able to bring to you the work of Lina Forrester as EMU-lsive’s artist in residence (paid in exposure), as part of this realignment. I’m sure you’ll all agree this is a fantastic win-win for both Lina and I.

Super EMU facts!

Before beginning the slow process of updating the site and social media, I’d like to share some EMU facts with you. Feel free to chip in in the comments.

Physical characteristics

EMUs have many physical characteristics in common with the ostrich and believe it or not, they come from the same family AND share a common ancestor with the Kiwi…the KIWI! They are not as tall as ostriches but are prettier and occasionally better tempered. EMUs can grow to a height of 190cm – that’s nearly 6 feet 7 inches tall! The hight of an average EMU is closer to 175cm, or 5 feet 22 inches. This is mostly because of scrawny male EMUs, which are smaller than the females.

Sadly, EMUs cannot fly but imagine if they could! What a graceful sight that would be!

Funny feet

Like most other flightless birds, EMUs feet don’t have a rear-facing toe but then again, they don’t need one. These babies were built for SPEED. Really, can you imagine an EMU on a telegraph wire? What they lack in toes, they make up for in calf muscles.

Oh yes, the EMU is the only bird to have them.

Being a flightless, calf-muscled bird means that EMUs never skip leg day and aside from looking super cool, those hefty calves also help these amazing animals reach speeds of nearly 30 miles per hour – Usain Bolt can suck it.

Those powerful legs can be dangerous, though. When used to kick, they can put a serious hole in the hardiest of kevlar vests. Be sure you respect an EMU’s personal space.

Life and death

EMUs, being relatively stupid (but endearing) animals, typically live for between 10 and 20 years. When kept in captivity, they can live for up to 30 years – a lifelong companion.

Much of their short lifespan is due to them being native to Australia, the land where 90% of the flora and fauna is trying to kill you. Surprisingly, they have no natural predators unless you count plants. Yes, there are a number of plants and foods that WILL KILL EMUS. Do not use this information to your advantage. Keep your EMU away from Cranberry, Laurel, Peaches and Tobacco plants to name a few – I’ll be adding a full list of deadly plants over the coming weeks.

Feathers

It should come as no surprise that EMU feathers are not like those of birds that can fly. In fact, even though they come from the same family of birds as Ostriches (see above), their feathers are closer to duck down than the stiff, barbed quills of their DNA-sharing brethren. Making classy ink pens from EMU feathers is out of the question but EMU they do make amazing feather dusters.

Food

Last but not least, EMUs are tasty. Being on the endangered species red list, you should never ever, ever kill an EMU for food. Unless you buy meat from a responsible and sustainable farm. I’ll be sharing my recipe for apricot-glazed EMU steaks in a couple of weeks.

Just make sure you eat responsibly.

Some final business

And that’s it for this introductory/confession article. I hope you don’t feel too bad having been fed a line since 2015, and I hope that you’ll continue to be as avid a member of this new and vibrant community, as you have been of the film photography one.

Looking to the future, there will be a few changes to the articles published here in EMU-lsive:

Photography: EMU photos only.

Photo stories: EMU photos only.

5 Frames With: EMU photos only.

Film reviews: EMU photos only.

Camera reviews: EMU cameras only.

Gear reviews: EMU accessories only.

Travelogues: EMU-related travels only.

Interviews: renamed to “I am… and this is why I love EMUs”.

And that’s it. Thank you for reading and thank you for your continued support.

~ EMU-lsive